Christmas Whoops
Leftover spag bol anyone?
If you’re feeling a bit stressed about Christmas around the corner, let me ask you, “What’s the worst that can happen?”
I messed up last year and, as the ghost from Christmas passed, I am here to tell you that we lived (and laughed) to tell the tale.
I’m sharing last year’s parallel parenting fail in the hope it gives you permission to get Christmas right or wrong this year and feel good about it, either way.
As I’m sure you know from bitter experience, arranging a joyful Christmas for the kids when you’re in a parallel parenting situation isn’t easy. With a low level of trust and communication there are often big holes in my understanding about how a period like Christmas is planned for the kids across both homes.
We typically take it in turns to have either one or the other Christmas ‘shift’ with our kids.
Shift one: Have kids Christmas Eve and Christmas morning
Shift two: Have kids Christmas afternoon and Boxing Day
It feels pretty good as there is a good stretch of family time either way. The kids prefer to have shift one with me and shift two with their dad, mainly because there’s a big family party with their stepmum’s family on Christmas afternoon/evening. They love sneaking more treats than they’d usually get away with and seeing the adults getting drunk.
Last year, I had shift two, so my partner and I planned breakfast with his young adult kids followed by lunch with my girls.
Our breakfast that morning turned into late brunch, and as time marched on, a quiet voice in my head was asking, “How are you going to eat lunch in less than two hours from now?!”
Ignoring the voice, I drive off to pick up the girls. Slightly to my relief on the drive home they told me they were really full having only just finished a huge brunch at their dad’s. Getting home, we agreed we couldn’t shoehorn in another meal yet, so we’d have some snacks when we were ready and plan for a big spread in the evening instead.
We opened presents, got outside for some fresh air and were having a lovely time until around 3pm when my eldest said she was starving. No-one else being hungry, what do I do? I didn’t want to cook the big spread, it would spoil by the time everyone else was ready for it. Looking despondently for answers in the fridge I found a two-day old portion of spaghetti bolognaise. “OK”, said my underwhelmed daughter.
Watching these leftovers spinning in the sad yellow glow of the microwave, I thought to myself, “How did I end up giving my daughter a lonely lunch of spag bol for her Christmas dinner?” As I tried to jazz it up with a little grated cheese I sat with her as she inhaled the food. “Sorry, this isn’t exactly the Christmas dinner I planned this year”. She laughed and asked, “I wonder what my friends are having? Probably not leftover pasta.” Owff, I felt that.
A few short hours later we were all ready for the Christmas spread and hungry enough to enjoy it together.
My eldest daughter and I now have a running joke about leftover pasta for Christmas dinner being a bit of a low, but agree there’s only one way from there, and it’s up!
At least this year we are on shift one. We’ll do the breakfast spread with the confidence and certainty of knowing we’ll all be hungry at the same time. The following year, I’ll read this again and remind myself to plan a grazing spread that anyone can dive into anytime from 3pm.
However it goes for you this year, good, bad or with leftover pasta, have a very Merry Christmas.